Great Good Fine OK

I’m sitting at the gym in between my morning classes that I coach on Thursday mornings. It is just me, Stella girl and my lovely friend Megan Kite who just spent thirty minutes helping me figure out my laptop. I have zero technical or electronic skills. Zero. Did you know that your wireless adapter can be erased from your computer? Well it can…and it is super annoying. Now that it is fixed, I can finally write this post.

I’m moving.

It’s official.

I have not so secretly dreaded this possibility for a few years. I always knew when Kody finished residency that there was a possibility that we would not be staying in Oklahoma City. I never thought it would really happen. Especially after having Stella, it felt like we were finally settled. This is where she would have her life. She would go to the same schools I did, she would be friends with my friend’s children, all would be right with the world.  I know I may sound incredibly dramatic, but that’s part of my charm.

This has been a long road. Four years of medical school, five years of residency and three moves….now four. For a non military family, it sure feels like we have made our trek around the country. Now we are going to add the south to our list of homes.

Kody has accepted a job in Cookeville, Tennessee. It is one hour east of Nashville and eleven hours east of home. We aren’t leaving somewhere we have lived for four and a half years, we are leaving home. I grew up in Oklahoma. I’ve been here since I was a year old,  minus our four and half year tour we did in Tulsa and Michigan. I know everything will be fine. I know life goes on and I will make new friends and make wonderful memories, but that doesn’t make leaving any easier.

Those close to me know the last couple of years have been anything but smooth sailing. I have people here that have stood by me through the really good and the really ugly. Those people that have never left my side, that have believed in me and been there 100%, leaving you is going to be hard. Outside of Kody and I, Stella has been blessed to have many parents. She is so loved. It makes my heart so full to see the people around us that love her like Kody and I do. How did we get so lucky? Not only to be blessed with such a wonderful daughter, but with friends that love her like their own. That will be one of the hardest things about being gone. I want her to grow up knowing you.

CrossFit changed my world seven years ago. I never thought it would give me so much. Not only did it give me a way to continue to be an athlete, but it gave me another family. I sent the email about my departure two days ago to all the members of CrossFit OKC. It was a hard four paragraphs to write. I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m walking out on them. Watching everyone succeed and grow has given me so much joy. I love you people and you will never know how much you will be missed.

Kody has worked so hard for this. We have been blessed with a wonderful opportunity in Tennessee. He finally gets to do what he set out to do when he went to college fourteen years ago. It makes me tired just thinking about it. He graduates on Saturday. Insanity. It’s over. Nothing about residency is easy, as a resident or as a family member of a resident. You learn to be very independent, which can be good and bad. I’m not sure how friends of mine have done it with multiple children. You ladies are amazing.

There are some pretty cool things in store for me in Tennessee. I will be at CrossFit Mayhem. I’m going to get to train with some of the best. What a God thing this has been. Not only for such a great job, but also something for me. I will have the opportunity to focus on Stella and training and not worry about working right away. Unpacking probably won’t be on the to do list because anyone that knows me knows that I still have unpacked boxes in my house from four years ago. Some things just shouldn’t change. It would be very “un-Ginny” of me.

I’m going to be closer to some friends and family that I haven’t seen in a long time. I will be near the music capital which for me is something to jump up and down about. I may end up in Nashville every weekend. My concert stub collection is going to become epic. Plus, Tennessee is gorgeous. I can’t wait to play outside and enjoy everything it has to offer. There are a lot of really exciting things about the move. It will just take time to adjust.

So, in about six weeks we will leave Oklahoma. My home. The good thing about home though is that you can always come back. So it won’t be a good-bye, but more of a “see you when I see you”.

I love you awesome nerds.

Choice

Today is Kody and I’s nine year anniversary.  Wow. Today Stella is four months old. Four months. Double wow. When they tell you “it goes by fast” they aren’t kidding. “They” being all the wise and brave parents that came before me. “They” who I used to look at so curiously and wonder “what is that like”? I’m still learning what it is like, but I have a far better understanding of it than I did a year ago. I’m still figuring it out. I’m still trying to learn how to be a mom and me at the same time. I am realizing that they aren’t two different parts of me, but just a new, different, better sometimes a little bit scared and confused me. Everyday I still look at Stella and think, “I really hope I’m not screwing this up”. I’m not. She’s happy and healthy. She’s the most loved little girl I have ever known. Everyday I thank God that He picked me to be her mom.

     Sometimes I think about what my life would be like right now if she wasn’t here. I don’t think of it in a wishful way, I can’t imagine not having her.  I’ve talked about it before, how I’m adopted. Having Stella has made me think a lot about that part of my life. I think a lot about what my birth mother felt after I was born. I wonder if she held me or saw me. I wonder how hard it was for her to let me go. I wonder if today she thinks about me on my birthday or everyday or never at all. I wonder how hard it was for her to move on with her life so I could have mine.

One thing I have learned more about this year, the infamous 2014, is letting go and moving on. Two very hard and difficult tasks for anyone, but especially me. I love people. I love my friends. I would literally do almost anything for someone I love. It is a blessing and a curse. Sometimes, when you care so much about people you are blind. You forgive and forget easily, you give second, third and fourth chances. You tell yourself “this time it will be different” or “it was really mostly my fault”.

A friend of mine posted something on Instagram the other day that I just loved. “Things are as they are, we suffer because we imagined different”. I’m an optimist. I see the best. I try to pull the best from others. I expect the best from others. I won’t stop being that way. It isn’t in me. I’ve realized that part of being an eternal optimist is being disappointed when things don’t work out the way I expected. Learning to handle that has been a hard lesson, but it is one I am learning. I say all of that not to be melodramatic, but to say that the last year has made me take a hard look at myself, my life, my priorities and what I want for my future.

Stella has done more for my life than I can explain to anyone. Her smile gives me a joy that is indescribable. Her giggle is contagious. Even when she cries, I smile…most of the time.  I will never be the perfect mother, but I will be the perfect mother for her. I will be the mother she needs and one she can always depend on for the rest of her sweet life. She will always come before training and work and that is 100% OK with me.  Four months ago that scared me. Today it doesn’t.

     My plans and goals for the next six months have changed. It’s a change I wasn’t expecting, but one I’m fired up about and ready to take by the horns and wrestle to the ground. Coming back from pregnancy is hard. HARD. It’s really, really hard. Every single day I feel stronger and every single day I realize how far I still have to go. Last night a friend of mine from CFOKC came up to be and said, “Ginny, I wanted to tell you that you are looking strong. I saw a fire in your the eye I hadn’t seen in a long time”.  My fire has been lit for awhile, it’s just burning a little bit bigger now. Today I overhead squatted 185 x 2 which is what I did in the overhead squat event at regionals in 2013. Today was a milestone. I matched a pre pregnancy PR. I could not be more thrilled. It’s happening.

Kody and I joke a lot about how neither of us have ever really been given or taken the easy road when it has come to our goals in life. It’s something I believe we are both incredibly thankful for and has made us the people we are today. We work hard and take pride in the fact that we care so much about the things we do. We pour ourselves into things we love and people we love. I hope that is something we pass on to Stella as she grows and figures out what it is she loves in life.

“Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance, determines your destiny”. – Aristotle

This year my sights are set to return to regionals as an individual. It’s going to be hard. It would be hard even if I hadn’t have been pregnant this past year. I do know though, if anyone can come back quickly and make back, it’s me. It starts with knowing I can and I will. I also want to see my gym to qualify. My gym that I love dearly. My second home that has given me so much over the last four years. The people that have stood by me and stood with me no matter what, I thank you for believing in me as a person, as a coach, as a friend and as a teammate. “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard”. Here is to  wonderful, memorable and exciting 2015. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Stella

I did it! I had a baby! A really cute one…

Stella Robin King was born at 4:54 PM on Saturday, August 30th in Oklahoma City. She was 7lbs 1oz and 19 inches long. She was eight days early and came into the world cool as a cucumber.

I really like telling the story of how it all went down because it was exactly as it should have been.  I went in Friday, the 29th, for my “hopefully” last appointment. I was dilated to a 4 1/2, which is about what I had been the week before. I was dilated to a 3 at week 36. I honestly couldn’t believe I was still pregnant at 39 weeks based on how long I had been having contractions and been dilated. But, in true Stella fashion, she did what she wanted when she wanted. I don’t know anyone else like that…  (me, I’m being sarcastic…I’m like that).

Saturday morning I was having stronger contractions and much more regular. I was texting my doctor all morning asking dumb questions like “is it a real contraction if it feels like this…” I wasn’t convinced I really knew what the real thing would feel like. Our bags had been packed and loaded into the car. I told Kody I was pretty sure I was going to go to the hospital that afternoon based on how I felt. We were heading up to the gym to run a competitors workout, but first we had to get donuts and stop by Target. I really wanted a Polaroid camera for the hospital. I love Polaroid baby photos. I got my camera and we headed to the gym.

We walked into CrossFit OKC around 11:20. The team stuff was starting at 11:30. I felt awful. My contractions had been consistent since 7 am, but were still not on regular intervals other than they kept happening. They were lasting about 30 to 45 seconds and every time I was laugh/crying. You know, the kind were you wiggle around and you hurt, but you know you look stupid so you laugh? Yeah, that.

I planned to hang out in the office while Kody did his thing with our crew. I walked in, said hi to a few people and then retreated to the couch. I talked to my homegirl KD for about five minutes on the phone. She was in Arkansas competing at the Mid America Championship. We talked about clean and jerks and all that jazz. We hung up and immediately I went into manage the pain mode. I stood up, wiggled, half cried and was all by myself. I felt a “pop” in my back. It didn’t really feel like anything, but all sudden I knew I should get into the restroom. As I suspected, my water broke.  At the gym. Alone in my office. Classic.

It’s weird. I had this moment of, “Oh my gosh, this is really happening”. I was not thinking clearly at all. I just knew we had to leave and leave now. I walked out the door and Kody was sitting right there in a chair. I looked at him and half whispered, “We are going to the hospital. My water just broke”. He just looked at me. Didn’t say a word. Put his fist in the air and started pumping it to the sky. I saw Drew and Kristen both stretching out. I walked to Kristen and said, “Hey, so I’m going to the hospital…my water just broke”. She is a nurse practitioner at the hospital where I was delivering. Kristen immediately jumps up, starts yelling and skips towards the parking lot saying, “Yay! Come on Ginny let’s skip to your car!” which I kindly replied, “Kristen! I’m not skipping anywhere!” By now everyone in the gym is looking and kind of realizing what just happened.

Drew, Brad and Kristen walk to the parking lot with me. Kody goes to the whiteboard to finish writing the workout for the teams (that is probably my favorite part…I thought it was hilarious).  Everyone acted exactly as they should have. Kristen was very enthusiastic, Drew really wanted me to get the AC turned on in my car, Brad was smiling and very calm and I was all like, “Ok, let’s do this”.

It really helped me to have so many people that  I love so dearly around me as we left. There were a lot of smiles, “good lucks”, high fives…it made me feel calm. I had been so nervous about birth. It has terrified me since I learned that’s how babies came into the world. Now it was actually going to happen to me. Oh my gosh.

I texted my doctor as we headed out. When I arrived at the hospital my rockstar nurse came and got me and said my room was all ready. Yay! It took about an hour or so to get in, change, and get set up. It was probably around 1PM at this point….maybe a little before. My nurse checked the progress…I was progressing just fine. This whole time my contractions had been the same. Painful, but manageable. All the sudden that changed. I was in more pain than I ever had been or thought I could be in. I was yelling at Kody to get over next to me. He said he had never seen me like that. It was like that for about twenty to thirty minutes. My nurse asked if I wanted some pain meds in my IV to help me until they got in there to give me my epidural. Yes. I said yes very enthusiastically.

I got my IV and my drugs and all the sudden everything was right with the world. I got a little hazy and started to be a little more loose lipped than normal. I was completely appropriate, but hilarious. Actually, hilarious may not be the right word. Slightly inappropriate at times might be a better explanation. I got my epidural. Piece of cake. I got to watch “Friends” for two hours and then it was go time. I pushed for ten minutes and then Stella met the world. My scrub tech described me as “a really good pusher” so that was neat.

I was really calm through the whole thing which really surprised me. I know we had a lot of people praying for us…me…Stella. Thank you. We had wonderful friends come visit us at the hospital. I loved watching everyone hold her and love her. She is pretty special and pretty lucky to already have so much family around her.

She is a great baby. She loves to eat and she loves to sleep. She likes to make squeaking sounds and really awesome faces. It’s fun to just watch her. She is pretty sassy for being a baby. She likes to pose and wiggle. I like watching her dream. She giggles and smiles. I keep wondering what she is actually dreaming about. What could she think is so funny? Is she dreaming about dogs? Candy? Singing karaoke?

I’m just so excited to get to know her. I can’t wait to see what she is going to be like. When Stella and I are alone I like to talk to her about all the things that I hope for her life. I tell her about things I want her to experience and things that I want to protect her from. I’m not overly protective right now in a physical sense…I’m calm about her health and being around people…what I’m very worried about is her heart. I hope she experiences so much happiness and love in her life that it is sickening. I never want her to feel an ounce of sadness. Just the other day when she was getting a diaper changed she was crying, per usual, and she had her first real tears. I started crying seeing her cry like that. Before when it is just dry whaling I could handle it, but seeing her little tears just did something to me. I wanted them to go away.

I’m so happy I’m a mom. I’m so happy I’m her mom. It’s been a very overwhelming, stressful, wonderful, happy, trying, exhausting, special and glorious two weeks. She is laid back and happy. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

I’m finally getting out of the house. I am able to do some “light arm stuff” until I can start swimming in about a week and a half. We walk a lot and are secretly planning the comeback attack. I will officially be released (I think) on October 13th. That gives me eleven training days before HOA. I accept the challenge and I’m so incredibly excited. Stella has been to the gym with me a few times and has watched me do some barbell shoulder presses, overhead walks, DB curls and some pull up variations. I can’t do anything that is hard on my core right now. I want to be a good patient these next few weeks so I can make sure I don’t do anything to screw up my recovery. I have nine months before I need to be me again. I’m gonna take it one step at a time.

More than anything, I want to enjoy this time in Stella’s life. She is already getting bigger, more active and alert. It’s neat and scary to watch her change. I love her to pieces. Stella, I apologize in advance for being super embarrassing. I will try to have dance parties with you and your friends. I will encourage you to have sleepovers and prank call boys. I will be your biggest fan and cheering section in whatever activity you decide to love. I also apologize for making you wear bows because I said I would never do that, but I totally lied. Also, I hope you really like monkeys because you are surrounded by them. You’re welcome my sweet girl. Welcome to the world.

Any Day Now…

I’m officially 38 weeks and one day….not that I am counting. Without going into a lot of details that people don’t really want to know, she should be here any day. Literally, like right now….let’s do this.

I’ve had the best pregnancy. It’s strange to say that out loud because in all honesty I don’t enjoy being pregnant. I love what I’m going to have from being pregnant, but I am not that girl that has relished in every second of pregnancy. It has been weird, frustrating, uncomfortable and at times has made me incredibly vain. I don’t like that.

So much has changed around me in the last nine months. To me, my family, my friends, my jobs...my life. I guess nine months is a long time in general, so for any person a lot of things will change. It’s just been very eye opening to take a step back from everything, reevaluate life and try to make sense of everything that has happened and will happen.

In less than two weeks I’m going to have a precious little girl. I can’t wait to see her smile at me. I can’t wait to hear her laugh. That is one of the things I’m most excited about…her giggle. I’m so excited to know someone that is a part of me. We will share the same DNA. It’s kinda crazy that she is the first person I will ever really know in that way.

At the beginning of my pregnancy I made a few very bold statements. One was, “I will NOT take maternity pictures”. Enter Monica, my lovely friend who is pretty handy with a camera. I remember walking up to her a little over a month ago and saying, “Ok, will you take some maternity pictures of me?” She laughed and knew I was eating my words. She was amazing. I honestly never thought I would love the way I looked so much. I’m so glad I did it. Even though I struggled to watch my body change, she really captured my joy about having my daughter.

I don’t talk about that enough, just how absolutely excited I am that I’m going to have her. I tend to try to act a little tougher than I am. It’s hard for me to be really vulnerable. I’ve had some very close people to me go through some very tough situations with children at different stages of pregnancy and life. I’ve also gone through a miscarriage myself. I think I down played all of it so much out of fear of something going wrong. I’m very much my father’s daughter when it comes to things like that.

I’m incredibly blessed to be so healthy. I’m so happy I was so active and felt so good for the majority of my pregnancy. The last two weeks have been slightly different. Now I’m uncomfortable all the time. I can’t sit up on my own, I have to get in weird positions to tie my shoes, my hips hurt all the time, I feel like my abs (or what is left of them) are being ripped apart 24/7 and I wake up pretty much every single hour. It’s pretty much a dream come true. If you ever want to feel super attractive…be 38 weeks pregnant in August.

I have still been working out. Not nearly as much as I was over the last few months, but I still make myself sweat. I have really good days and then I have days when I think if I take one more step I might collapse. I’m still in the water a few days a week, but even that feels different now. I still gawk at how small my legs are getting. Who gets mad about their legs getting smaller? Me. I do. Ugh. I cannot wait to squat again.

I’m getting excited as I think about my recovery. My garage gym is cleaned out and ready to go. I’m preparing some menu ideas so I can be eating as clean as possible (for me) once she gets here. I’m not naive to the fact that coming back is going to be hard and that having a newborn and being a first time parent is going to change things a lot. I’m excited and ready for the challenge. I know I will have to take it one day at a time. I’m incredibly lucky to have so many supportive and wonderful people around me. I say that a lot, but I mean it every single time. 

There will be many tears, as there already have been. I have a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks. Holding our daughter for the first time, bringing her home, introducing her to her fur sisters, watching our friends and family love her….oh yeah, and competing at HOA in October.

Hopefully this is my last post before baby girl. Let’s be honest, I’ve been an awful blogger. This is my last post before she gets here. Closing thoughts from a pregnant me….

Enjoy what you are given. Don’t take fore-granted the time you have during certain stages of your life…you may not get them back. Be thankful for those that love you and support you. Enjoy the little things and don’t feel bad about indulging every now and then. Continue to do the things you love even if you can’t do them the way you always want to. Be happy. Smile. Laugh. Dream. Wear a two piece when you feel like a whale. Smell empty beer bottles just to make people laugh at you. Listen to those around you who have gone through the same thing, but also be mindful that your experience is always unique. Don’t be afraid to cry in front of complete strangers. Dance and sing whenever the spirit moves you. Sleep in a mountain of pillows. Take long, hot showers. Enjoy long drives alone. Listen to a lot of M83. Go to concerts even if you are the most pregnant one there. Eat all the chocolate sugar cookies from Someplace Else on Western. And last, know it’s OK to not always be happy. There is nothing wrong with how you feel about your experience. Just live and make the most of what you’ve got. Peace. 

I’m Almost Done!

First update…I’m a year older than I was when I last posted. Thirty two. Yikes. Moving on…

When I started blogging about my pregnancy I really wanted to make it a weekly thing. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Now I am less than six weeks away from my due date and all I’m thinking is, “Oh my gosh…I’m about to really have a kid!”

To be honest, I’ve had the best pregnancy in the world. I didn’t get sick, I didn’t have weird cravings, I didn’t want to stuff my face the entire time, I was able to work out like a normal person the entire time…even now I go to the YMCA a few days a week and workout for an hour…more to come on that below. The flip side is that I still complain like any other pregnant woman. Whether I think my pregnancy is awful or the best, it is still something I haven’t been through before. It has still been a new experience for me and my body and life have never gone through so many changes in such a short amount of time. That can do a number on a person.

I’m entering the “It could really happen at anytime” phase, which blows my mind. I know she needs stay put a little longer, but I’m really excited to meet her and get this “I’m still the same gal, just with a kid” thing going. Her room is for the most part prepped. I have lots of cute baby girl things in my house. My dogs think her stuffed animals are for them to play with. I foresee a lot of, “Brantley, put the monkey down!”  being said for the next few years. (Brantley is our super spunky pup…that’s not my daughter’s name). Bailey, our sweet, lovable and perfect eight year old first fur baby has been sleeping next to the bed every night for the last few weeks. I think she knows something is up. She usually takes over the couch and wants nothing to do with us at night. I feel like she is looking out for me a little bit. It’s nice.

I go in Wednesday for my thirty four week appointment. I swear it feels like just yesterday I went in at twenty weeks, feeling and looking normal, and found out we were having a girl. It’s funny how much things can change in a short amount of time. I keep trying to guess what kind of story I’m going to have about her birth. Am I going to wake up in the middle of the night freaking out? Is it going to start in the middle of coaching a class? Am I going to be incredibly calm or start crying?

I am incredibly blessed that this summer hasn’t been a total heat wave. It is hard to be at the gym in the evenings because of the heat. I can’t stay hydrated no matter how much water, Gatorade or pedialyte I drink. I’m at the YMCA a lot and I love it. I’ve been swimming two to three times a week. A group of us actually took on the first CrossFit Games individual events this past week. It was so much fun. I have such a fond love of the water. It will be something I can do relatively soon after having her and I’m looking forward to the pool being a big piece in my physical comeback!

I still snicker a little bit to myself when I’m using dumbbells and mine are heavier than the dude next to me. Maybe that is silly, but whatever makes me smile and gives me a little more confidence at this point is exactly what I need. I have learned to love the elliptical again with all my heart. I put my headphones on and just go to a different place. It feels good to sweat. Whatever gets me moving is A-OK in my book.

I’m not going to lie, there aren’t a lot of things I ‘m going to miss about being pregnant. It’s just really, really weird. I’m getting insanely uncomfortable. I hate not being able to move around like a normal person. I’m not talking about anything fitness related…just every day stuff. I have to be careful about reaching for anything, sitting up in bed, sitting down, I miss sleeping on my stomach…I feel like a martian. I will miss feeling her move and seeing her little feet dance around. We will do plenty of dancing together though whenever she decides to grace this world with her presence.

In addition to running CrossFit OKC, I have my own media business. I’ve been media buying for almost nine years. I love it.  I work from home and it allows me to still be a business girl. I’m in my busy season for work. August through October is kind of the perfect storm in my media world. I’ve been working really hard the last three weeks to get ahead so I’m not thinking about work when Little Miss arrives. On top of that, Kody and I are in the thick of planning AOK3, which I could not be more excited about. (Registration opens Monday, August 4th…do it!) People may think we are nuts for running a competition four weeks after my due date, but that’s just the kind of people we are. We love this stuff even though it makes us crazy. Plus, what better way for everyone to meet her. 

Today was a little bit of a rough day for me. I came into the gym to coach and saw my friends and teammates working out together, laughing and getting better. I saw the same thing on Sunday during our competitor team workout. It’s hard to watch and not be a part of everything that is going on, but I keep reminding myself that all of that will come back in time. It may sound silly to be sad about, but I love this stuff so much. So much. It’s like removing a piece of yourself and just having being OK. It’s hard! I know it’s making me a stronger person and I know I’m going to be a force to reckon with when I comeback because I want it so bad. I’m excited to shock some people come May. 

I can’t say enough about my support system. I have the best family and best friends in the world. They let me complain without judgement. They love me despite my quirkiness. They support me unconditionally even when I’m unreasonable and silly. Most of all, they are all going to love this little girl like she is their own. To know she will be loved, protected and watched over for years to come by the people I love the most puts a smile on my face. I honestly would have not made it through this with what little sanity I have left without each of you. I love you awesome nerds.  

Well Hello Third Trimester…

So apparently I’m in my third trimester. That went fast. 

I’m pretty sure September is sneaking up on me like perfect storm. I feel like I have done nothing. Her room is still a guest room. In my head I know exactly what it is going to look like, I’m just not very good at executing. I did manage to pick out some fabulous fabric for her! I know, the super important stuff. All I have wanted is purple and monkeys. Well, I found some great purple and green. My two favorite colors. She will look super stylish in her crib which is basically the most important thing when bringing a newborn home, right?

In practical news, I’m finally accepting that my days of pushing myself in the gym are over. It has been a very hard thing for me to accept, although I do feel like I have been incredibly smart and careful. If I wasn’t a CrossFit competitor then it would be easy for me to come into the gym and participate in class and take it easy. I can’t rid myself of that competitive nature. Right now my focus is turning to staying strong, not being good at CrossFit.  No more snatching with a barbell. No more toes to bar. No more core work really in general. It’s sad.  However, I feel incredibly lucky that I was able to continue these things as long as I did. We started our super cool CFOKC Competitor Team last week. I’m trying to really embrace my role as “the coach” and not “the athlete”. It’s a big transition, but I know it will only make me better as a coach AND an athlete. I’m very excited. This pic was taken a week and a half ago. It was my last day snatching. I made the decision to quit snatch not because I felt like I was unsafe, but because I was having to alter my technique to be safe. There is a difference. I don’t need to snatch anymore. I don’t want to create bad habits. I can snatch in four months. It is not a skill that I will lose. 

The heat and humidity are making things a lot harder. I’m constantly hydrating and honestly it just doesn’t seem to do the trick. I’m going to have to move more of my workouts to the YMCA so I can take advantage of their AC and scenic views of treadmills. I recently bought a membership and have been visiting so I can swim and use the leg press. I have a great little circuit on the leg machines. I feel like I’m in college again. I have been doing single leg presses and double leg. I like to alternate sets. I’ve also been utilizing the leg extension machine and the abductor/adductor machine…(my secret favorite).  

I’ve still been doing a lot of isolation work with my arms over the last two months. It makes me happy to still have some shoulders and traps (yes, that is the vanity in me), but honestly…just seeing the definition in my arms does wonders for my mental state. I’m not ashamed to admit that. It’s hard to go from someone who is used to doing the things I’m used to doing and all the sudden having to stop. Yikes. It’s been fun to do curls, incline bench, DB rows and other weird things I normally don’t do on a regular basis. 

Ok enough about my training….real talk…

I’m terrified. In twelve weeks I’m going to become this thing called “a mom”. I feel like I’m so unprepared for what is about to happen. I’m scared of royally screwing my child up because I feel like I’m still a child myself. I know this is very normal. I know I’m not the first one to freak out. I’m 100% terrified of the birthing process.  For some reason I think I’m going to skip that part. I’ve been told that’s not the case. 

Four days before I found out I was pregnant I saw “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” in theaters with my family. I know this because we saw it on Christmas Day. It was a really interesting time in my life and marriage. Kody and I were dealing with life issues as always. We were preparing for him to leave for Tyler, Texas for six months and we had no idea that in four days our world would be rocked by a single positive test. I remember watching the movie and being completely overwhelmed by it. It is beautiful. The soundtrack is equally moving. If you know me at all, then you know what a music fanatic I am. I grew up laying on my bed reading the cd jackets of new cds so I could learn all the words to songs. Lyrics mean a lot to me. Kody sent me this picture not too long ago and it’s pretty true. I probably need to own this. 

Anyway, throughout my pregnancy I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions like I think every single pregnant women experiences. This song, “Stay Alive”, from that movie has always struck a cord with me. I find it soothing during my panic days, cry in my car for no reason days, happy days, hungry days and oh my gosh is this really happening days. Enjoy. “The dawn is coming, open your eyes”. 

Bricktown Throwdown

This past weekend I got to hit the competition floor again! Dream come true. I participated with one of the teams from our gym in the scaled division. My friend Jordan recently broke her rib and they needed a replacement. I like to say they begged me to be on the team, but it was probably opposite. OK, it was opposite. I wanted to compete so bad. I remember texting Kody for a full day begging for his blessing and convincing him that nothing I was going to to do was going to be unsafe. This is 100% true. I was able to avoid movements like burpees and double unders that are a little weird now. 

I had not competed since HOA back in November. That seven month hiatus is the longest I have been out of the competitive scene since I started CrossFit in 2008. I competed with a really fun group from CFOKC: Katy, Hannah, Jimmy, Jonathan and Jordan. We had a pretty fantastic team name which I was embarrassed to say to our judge before each workout. I will leave you in suspense on that one. 

A few highlights from my experience:

• I ran a 5K without stopping in 26:30
• I got to dance during all of my warm ups
• Jordan and I crushed the bench press event
• I GOT TO SNATCH!!!
• I wore bows and got a really good tan
• I didn’t look at the scoreboard one time

It was fun to be able to compete and not worry about the outcome. I never noticed where we finished in our heat. I didn’t worry about anything other teams were doing. I was focused on our team and that all of us did our best and had fun. It was nice to be able to laugh as wrist wraps got tangled up in jump ropes. 

I was a little nervous about being out there. I was worried people were going to think I was stupid for competing or that I was being reckless.  It was awesome to show up Friday night for the 5K and have handfuls of people come up to me and tell me how much they enjoyed my blog or that they thought it was awesome I was competing during the weekend. This weekend was really good for me. It made me feel like me! The community is amazing. 

One of my favorite parts of the weekend was getting to play athlete AND coach. We had a really great group of athletes from CFOKC on three teams. I love these people with all my heart and I love seeing them succeed and have fun. I saw lots of PR’s on the snatch workout, great teamwork and a lot of smiling faces. I even got to be a photographer during the last WOD of the weekend for our RX’d team. I was pretty amazing. It was so fun to be yelling at them one minute and snapping pictures the next. I love these ladies with all my heart! They were so fantastic. 

 

In other news….

I’m past 24 weeks. I feel amazing. I’ve been doing a lot of extra arm work with dumbbells (curls, presses, rows, bench) and I can see a BIG difference in my arms. The last few weeks have been confirmation that I am doing exactly what I need to do to come back strong in a few months. Watching the regionals over the live stream the past few weeks have been very motivational. I know it is all still going to be hard, but I have my goals set for 2015 and I’m determined to be the best me I can be through the rest of this pregnancy and once I become a mom. 

I recently bought a YMCA membership for the new facility in Edmond so I can start swimming this week. I bought my new Speedo two piece today. I haven’t owned one of those since I was actually a swimmer. I’ve also been hitting up some yoga with the fabulous Miss Katy Jones at YogaVerve. I’m becoming one well rounded mama! (no pun intended). 

I happy. I’m excited. I can’t wait to meet my little girl.

Thank you to everyone for all the encouragement and kind words this past weekend. Thanks Kevin and Brett for putting on a really fun event in a really cool location. Thanks to everyone who drank beer in front of me. Thanks to the sun for giving me a really good tan and tan lines. Thanks to that big tire for making my forearms super sore. And a BIG thanks to all of the CFOKC family for coming out to watch and cheer us on. Love you awesome nerds. 

Special thanks to Chad Hamilton and Monica Trosclair for the photos this weekend!

I Don’t Know About You…But I’m Feeling Twenty-Two!

Almost Twenty Two weeks! What a couple of weeks it has been. I had my twenty week appointment last week and it’s confirmed…baby King is a sassy, sweet, precious and beautiful baby GIRL! Yes, I already know all these things about her. I have finally started to feel her move, which is one of the strangest and coolest things in the world. I’m still having a  lot of, “What the heck is going on?” moments, but I’m getting more comfortable and used to the weirdness.

I’m so excited about having a girl. A boy would have been fun, but I would have been very confused about what to do with a boy. I know girls better. I’m already thinking about all the things I hope she gets to experience. I hope she is spunky and funny, I hope she learns how to love so fiercely it scares her, I hope she is crazy passionate about something whether it is sports, music, school or anything else she may decide to love.  I just can’t wait to watch her learn about the world and become a beautiful, special and caring woman. Very exciting.

I’ve been modifying more than usual the last couple of weeks in the gym. I’m almost twenty-two weeks into this pregnancy thing. Twenty two!  Kipping is done. I’m working strict movements. I’ve been doing strict pull ups in WODs and also static holds over the bar at the end of my strength pull up sets. My goal is to keep my upper body STRONG. I’m starting a circuit of a lot of isolation and pressing this week. . My goal is to go through this three to four times a week.  I’m doing everything I can to make sure I can come back strong! Yesterday I did this for the first time…

Six Rounds

10 Reps Bench Press 95#

10 Reps DB Curls 25#

10 Reps DB Row 30#

16 Walking Lunges

While this doesn’t look like a lot, I’m not used to the isolation. I should be doing this a lot more. I did shoulder presses in class that day so normally those will be in the routine as well. I also plan to add weight to my lunges. The weight was a little light, but I was just playing around trying to see what worked. I want to come up with something that is automatic.

Squatting still feels fine, but I know soon enough that will probably change. My squat sets are heavy enough to feel like it’s working, but not that I’m straining too much. I love my leg strength and I’ve been really nervous about losing it. I’ve added sled pulls and prowler pushes back into my routine now that the weather is getting nice. I love that burn!

Yesterday was a very strange day for me. I knew this day was coming, but I wasn’t quite ready for it. I am no longer doing push ups from my toes….I did knee push ups. I was being a bit stubborn about it. I’ve been doing hand release push ups and making sure I don’t come down too hard on my stomach, but now that I really do have a little bump those are out the window. Knee Push Ups were surprisingly still difficult. I was happy about that. My plan is to go to ring push ups. Ring push ups are hard and I can still get really good range of motion. Something new and different!

The cool thing is, I feel awesome. I can breathe like a pro, I have energy when I work out and I’m really motivated. A group is starting Whole 30 on Monday so I’m joining in on a very modified basis. Basically, the goal is to make myself cook at home. I’ve already been cooking at home more this week. I forget how much I enjoy it and how good I feel when I’m in the kitchen. Veggies have been the one thing that has been hard for me to eat a lot of during this pregnancy so I’m ready to get them back in the mix.

In other news….our regional is next weekend. I’ve been having moments of sadness, excitement and straight up annoyance as we prepare to send our team and the events are released. I’ve obviously accepted the fact that I won’t be competing, but I’m still going to have a hard time watching everyone else do it. I’ve loved getting to help our team prepare. They are going to be amazing. If I’m being honest, I’m not super sad I’m missing the legless rope climbs. I am, however, excited to tackle those come October! Good luck to these folks. Love you guys more than you know. Thanks for being you. Go crush Chicago for me!

 

Baby K at the Combine

     This past weekend I headed to Dallas, Texas for the NPFL Combine. For those of you who haven’t heard of the NPFL (which is most everyone outside of the CrossFit world), this is a professional fitness league. It’s basically professional CrossFit in a team setting. There are currently five teams in the organization and three more that should be finalized in the next few weeks. The League is hosting four combines across the country to pick athletes for the official draft this summer. I was invited to the Dallas combine to come tryout. How cool is that! 

     I emailed them prior to make sure it was OK for me to participate even though I am pregnant. I knew going in I was going for the experience, not to compete for a spot. I got the OK from them to participate and decided to just go for it. Why not? I wasn’t going to do anything stupid. I wasn’t going to push myself. I just wanted to be there and know that I put myself out there. 

     I showed up Friday for the girls combine day. The set up was pretty cool. There were  different sections for different types of tests. We had all day to go through as many stations as we wanted. My plan was to hit six or seven of them and cheer on the other ladies. I was going to do muscles ups, chest to bar pull ups, double unders, pistols, farmers carry and the overhead squat. I had toyed with the idea of doing the shuttle run and WOD, but was going to see how the day went before I made the decision. 

     When I walked in I saw a group of my lady CrossFit friends. I have so many rock star friends…it is crazy.  I heard a “Oh my gosh you really came” and then a lot of congratulations. It was pretty cool. It is so fun to look at the group of girls that were there and how a bunch of us started competing together at the same time. Kara Paslay was the only other Oklahoma gal that was there. It was wonderful to spend the day with her. She absolutely crushed it. 

     I got to hang out with my friends Candice Ruiz and Holly Mata who I have known since 2010. They have both been to the Games and are freaking amazing. Candice and I met at the Oklahoma sectional in Tulsa and Holly and I met at the 2010 regional. We were all laughing about how far we had come since then. In 2010 Holly couldn’t do a muscle up and used a sticky tape on the rings to see if it helped. She said didn’t. Now she is a Games athlete and all around rock star. She power snatched 165# on Friday. POWER SNATCHED. That’s all I have to say about Holly. I met the incomparable Kat Anderson at the 2011 Regional in Chicago when she was still at CrossFit Omaha. Now she is in Texas tearing up the South Central region. We had a good time. 

     We had no timeline. No schedule. It was up to each of us individually to do what we wanted, when we wanted. I started with double unders. I did 125 in ninety seconds. I did my first 82 unbroken. Not bad. I took some longer breaks than normal because I don’t breathe the way I did five months ago. Next up was muscle ups. I got five in ninety seconds. I’m still just so happy I can do them and string a few together. Muscle Ups have gotten really awkward in the last few weeks. In Open WOD 14.4 I did five muscle ups with 1:23 left to go in the WOD. It’s crazy to think about how different it is now. Five muscle ups fresh felt like a chore compared to how they felt at the end of a WOD four weeks ago. 

     The overhead squat was the only lift I decided to do. I chose it because it is my favorite lift and it is the one I feel the most comfortable with right now. I don’t have to strain with it the way I have to do with any other squat or deadlift. I have squatted 195# for a single and last year at Regionals I squatted 185# for a double. After overhead squatting 165# on Friday I went for 170#. I didn’t get below parallel and then missed it two more times. It’s really hard right now because my mind is having a hard time getting over the fact that my body can’t do the things it used to. 165# is a great number on an overhead squat, it is just one that I am used to doing for multiple reps.  I feel like I’m two different people when it comes to this stuff. I want to be really safe, and I am being very safe. On the other side, I’m insanely competitive. It was hard to be with the girls I’m used to being competitive with and not being able to hold a candle to them. I’m not used to that and I’m not sure I will ever get used to it. This is my 165# OHS. Easy breezy. 

     

    We had lunch, did a lot of laughing and then went on to finish up our day. I started the afternoon with pistols. These were fun. I didn’t get a crazy number. I think 17 on each side in forty five seconds. The plan was to do chest to bar pulls ups and the farmers carry next. I started warming up for my pull ups and felt something go weird in my shoulder. It kind of shocked me. I stood there for a bit shaking it around, got back on the bar, and couldn’t get the pull to get my chest to the bar. My arm was tingly and my hand felt super funny. I was so angry. They had felt so great that morning. I should have just done them then. I decided to skip them and call it a day. I didn’t want to put up a super sub par number or injure myself. 

     I struggled all day with feeling like I shouldn’t have been there. I joked about my numbers being low and unimpressive.  I didn’t do a good job of really owning the fact that I was 19 weeks pregnant and doing what I was capable of doing. I kept thinking, “Well, if I was really myself I would have done this…” It was frustrating. Kody showed up for the afternoon and tried his best to be encouraging. Sometimes I’m not very nice and I may not have been as sweet and appreciative of his support as I should have been. 

    I joked all weekend about just being there for the shirt. I got invited to Sunday to participate in the trial team events. I declined to come back because I knew there were going to be a lot of things I could not do and I did not want to hold up the team. It was pretty exciting to get asked back and I did get another cool shirt! 

     I did the NPFL for the same reason I went through The Open. I love this stuff. I want to be a part of everything I can be a part of even though I’m pregnant. I want to keep my life as normal as I can, however, I know things are always changing. Each week it gets a little different. I’m getting a little bump. It’s so weird, scary and exciting. I look at myself now and think, “Oh, I’m really pregnant!” Some days that feels like a good thing and some days it makes me feel really insecure. I know I’m doing all the right things. I’m being very smart and very cautious. It’s hard to not want to push the envelope. I got so sad watching girls do handstands, handstand push ups and bar muscle ups. I haven’t and wont touch those movements again for at least five months. Baby K is happy about that! We find out the sex of Baby K next week. I get the full baby body scan which I’m a little anxious about, but confident it will all be OK. I still love my support system with all of my heart. I simply have the greatest family and friends in the world. 

It’s Starting to Feel Real

This was a pretty interesting week in the life of a pregnant me. I was so excited to get my muscle ups. I think muscle ups are so fun and I’ve been pretty excited I can still do them. I think 14.4 has most resembled a regional workout as far as Open WODs are concerned to date.

My first thought when this came out was, “I hope I make it to the muscle ups”. 50 toes to bar, no matter how great you are at them, really suck. Let’s be honest, not many people probably were jumping up and down at the idea of doing 50 in a row. I’m used to seeing that at regionals. I’m used to training for that specific quantity during regional prep. I have NOT been doing toes to bar in a way that was going to make 50 feel easy. Ugh. Toes to bar are also the first movement that I have really been able to feel a difference in since I became pregnant. I have to work a lot harder to pull my feet up. I know my core is still there, it has just changed a little (or maybe a lot…I’m still in denial).

My approach to 14.4….

• Finish the row in 4:00 to 4:15
• Toes to bar in sets of 5’s, 3’s, 2’s and singles….lots of singles
• Wall Balls 10-10-8-7-5
• Singles on all cleans
• DO. MUSCLE. UPS.

The Row…

I’m notorious for being the last off the rower. It usually pays off because then I can keep a nice, fast pace. This week I was just slow on the row and then kinda kept that pace the entire WOD. I sang to myself a lot. Britney’s “Break the Ice” was on, which is one of my favs, so I enjoyed that part. I yelled things like “I’m so bored” and “This sucks” a couple of times. I had to entertain myself somehow.

Toes to Bar…

Lalalalala  I did two sets of 5’s, 3’s until about 30 and then singles. Oh my goodness, they got so hard for me. My grip was fine. My breathing was fine. My midsection was like, “Hey…there is a super tiny human in here, can you please cool it with all the crunching?” I got through them in a much longer amount of time than I would have liked, but at least I finished them.

Wall Balls…

Hooray! I’m the weird person that actually likes Wall Balls. It’s strange because I’m not tall. I also really like thrusters. I’m just “that girl”. These were fine. I wish they could have gone on forever. That nine foot target rocks my face off.

Power Cleans…

I’m not sure how many people felt this way, but 95# felt like 135# to me. Single, single, single. They took me a good three minutes. Blah. I finished the cleans at 12:37 leaving me just over a minute for…

MUSCLE UPS!!!!!

This is usually just like play time for me. This time, it felt like work. Kody was next to me telling me to put my hands on the rings, counting me back in and all that good stuff. I ended up with five solid reps! I was pretty excited to knock out that many in such a short amount of time in my current state. I felt very accomplished. Not only did I think I put up a good score “for me”, but also a really good score in general!

My final score was 185. Tie break of 12:37 (I think).

Now to keep it real…

I did this WOD twice. It was such a bad idea. I did really well the first time. I remember saying to myself that I wasn’t sure I could do any better. I really wanted to get to eight muscle ups. Normally I would have been shooting for at least fifteen or more. I’ve never done an Open workout twice and not done better. I thought for sure I could at least get one more rep or a faster tie break. I ended up only being six seconds faster on the tie break and I got two muscle ups. I missed four. Missed. I haven’t missed muscle ups, let alone that many in a WOD since I was learning them. It made me angry. I was angry I let myself do it again. I was angry because three days later it felt a lot harder. I was angry because I knew it was all happening…Baby K was really trying to slow me down. I listened. It worked. I’m accepting it.

This week has sucked. It’s the first week that I’ve really felt a lot different in the gym. Before I’ve felt pretty much like me, just that I have to move a little slower and everything feels a little heavier. This week I felt different. Toes to bar took a ton of effort. Even keeping my pace down on the rower, I felt a lot more taxed than normal. I had to break longer on my wall balls and cleans. And the muscle ups, oh the muscle ups, I fought for dear life to get on top of each one. I don’t kip very big on my muscle ups in general, that isn’t super helpful right now. I’m actually a very good muscle upper. I consider it one of my stronger movements, especially when I’m tired. Multiple people came up to me after the wod and said, “I’m not really sure how you got on top of any of those.” Ha!

It’s been depressing. I know that sounds silly. Hi, I’m pregnant. I’ve known that for a while now. I’ve just been thinking I would keep feeling slower, I never really expected things to actually get a lot harder. This is about the time when I think my body is about to really start looking different and it’s going to be a lot more real. I’m trying to prep myself mentally for that and I think I’m getting there.

I keep telling Kody that I feel bad that every time I blog I’m so “woe is me…I’m getting slow…blah blah blah”, but it is pretty therapeutic. The fact is, I’m so excited to become a mom. I can’t wait. I’m super happy. It’s also really weird knowing that everything is about to change. My life, my sleep patterns, my social life, my body…all of it. Anyone that says they are totally cool with all of it the whole time is lying. I just vocalize it…a lot. I don’t feel like it is negativity, just honestly about the massive changes I’m going through. It’s a lot to take in no matter how prepared you feel to become a parent.

I’m starting to see a little belly. I’m almost 17 weeks right now. I’m hoping it will all feel a lot more real once I can really see it, but also I’m having fun still wearing my regular clothes. I’m not sure how much longer that will last! I had my last check up on Wednesday and everything is wonderful. I have gained a total of three pounds. I know, it isn’t much. However, I know I’ve lost muscle so I think it is all just redistributing. I’m not really paying attention to the scale, I just want to be healthy.

I’m still exhausted in the afternoon. I’m getting really dehydrated. I have done absolutely nothing to actually prepare for a child in my home. The baby’s room is still a guest room. I know nothing about registering. I have a bunch of baby books I think I should be reading, but haven’t because I keep wanting to start Divergent…and I haven’t done that either. I have pregnancy brain like crazy. I will make three lists and forget to look at any of them. I feel like a really weird version of me and it just makes me laugh. Pregnancy is kinda cool and also super weird. The weirdest part…I’m almost half way through it.

Here is to the last week of the Open! May your burpees be fast and your thrusters be powerful!