“So, Are You Disappointed?”

I’ve been getting this question a lot lately, “Are you disappointed?”

Back up a bit….One year ago I finished 8th in the North Central Regional after a disastrous WOD 2 and a total let down in mental focus over the next two days.

This year, I finished 4th. Three top five finishes, five top seven finishes and just one finish one point shy outside the top ten. I missed qualifying for The Reebok CrossFit Games by mere points. One place. A few seconds here, a few seconds there, a few pounds here….

I could nit pick at my performance all day. It is super easy to look back and say, “well, if I had just done this…” The long and the short of it is that I didn’t do “this”. Yes, of course I’m disappointed. Who wouldn’t be? I spent a year training to be at The Games. I want to be at The Games. However, I’m not disappointed in my performance. I did exactly what I needed to do. I exceeded my own expectations of what I thought I was capable of multiple times over the weekend. I fought hard.

I surprised myself this weekend. I came out of day one sitting in 2nd place overall.  I tend to be one that fights my way back into the top. To start off so well was a testament to my preparation and mindset. One thing I used to battle with in CrossFit is my confidence.  I’ve never felt like I had shown my true capabilities in competition and that has always bothered me. This weekend I laid it all out there. I stayed calm. I was confident. Even when things didn’t go as I had planned (dumbbell snatch) I kept it together and made the best of what could have turned into a disastrous situation. Last year I would have crumbled.

This year, I left Chicago with a fire lit. I know without a doubt I’ve got what it takes to be in Carson, California in July. I believe it with all of my soul. I thought 2012 was going to be the year. It wasn’t. 2012 was a stepping stone. 2013 is going to be incredible.

To everyone who has supported me not just this last year, but from the very beginning, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  The Facebook messages, emails, texts messages, twitter comments…each one of them made a difference. It kept me going through the weekend. I kept feeling like I didn’t want to let anyone down if I didn’t qualify. I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me. I didn’t want to feel like I failed. There is no way I can look at this past weekend as a failure.

If you know my husband, then you know he loves CrossFit more than anyone on the planet. He was an incredible support to me this weekend and during all of my training. I’m thankful everyday for his extreme nerdiness.  He was amazing with our team who truly did an amazing job. I loved hearing him tell me how he talked to Deborah Cordner Carson’s husband’s during WOD 2. Apparently they were both pretty nervous. Gotta love the CrossFit spouses!

Over the next year I vow to not place a single limit on what I think I’m capable of physically and mentally. I’m capable of more than I can imagine and that is pretty freaking cool. I’m keeping this blog up. It has been fun to be able to share my journey with everyone.

P.S. I still hate ice baths with every part of my being.

Keep getting stronger and keep getting faster.