Memory

I’m currently watching the Oscars and all I do is stare at the ladies arms. Odd? Probably. I also really enjoy looking at Hugh Jackman’s face. I’m currently writing this as the fabulous Skyfall theme song is being sung by Adele. Anyway…

Ups and downs. Ups and downs. That is why we all keep doing this, right?  Kody and I talk about having a short memory when it comes to disappointments and a great long-term memory when it comes to successes. I like that. Remember the good, forget the bad.

Friday was “Diane” day. Many you probably remember “Diane” was the first WOD at regionals last year. I remember when it was posted my initial thought was, “Crap”. At the time my best Diane was a whopping 7 minutes. Clearly a 7 minute Diane wasn’t going to get me far at regionals. I did the workout within minutes of the Regional WODs being announced. I did it in just under 4 minutes. Relief. This was a workable number. I did it two other time working on rep schemes and got it down to under 3:30.  At Regionals I pulled a 3:05 out of somewhere and placed 5th on the WOD.

I was nervous Friday. I had only practiced HSPU once the week before, but had still not done them in a WOD since mid December. They felt ok, but not amazing. My goal was to not push it too hard, break it up in manageable sets and by all means to NOT hurt my shoulder trying to do more than it was ready to do at this time.  We had set a goal of at least somewhere under 5 minutes. Maybe that was a little extreme on the slower side, but I’m not one to “take it easy” so we had to but some restraints on ahead of time.

Time: 2:50.  Well, OK. I will take that. Seriously, a 15 second PR from Regionals and 40 second training PR? This with NO hspu work in months? Me? Seriously? I am not a hspu queen by any means. This is good. I didn’t pay attention to the clock once until I hit the wall for my last 9 hspu. Kameron yelled at me something like “2:30! Stay on the wall”. I did 5 – 4 and saw my time. I think I said, “really?” out loud about five times.

So what happened? I was loose. I was calm. I had zero expectations other than to keep moving and be smart.  I also did a little dance pre WOD. My secret weapon. I’m locking that away in my long-term memory.

Today, however, I had a disastrous date with some other movements that I LOVE. Missing double unders. Struggling with heavy dead lifts (I love dead lifts…and heavy ones). Blah. I’m ditching those things into the forgetful area of my brain. My back and hamstrings are completely shot from this week so I’m listening to my body which is obviously telling me to rest.

More Than Just Ordinary

The last two months have been, in one word, frustrating.

I don’t like being frustrated. I like being confident. I like having fun. I LOVE training.

I dislike being limited. I dislike feeling like less than myself. I dislike doubting myself. There has been a lot of that going on the past few weeks and I’m not proud of it. I vowed this year to have fun.

My shoulder turned into more of a bummer than I anticipated. It kept me from training the way I want to until last week. I’m feeling the time off from pushing and pulling. I know the next few weeks will be a struggle. The biggest struggle, however, will not be physical, but mental.

After my finish at last year’s regional, I left with a drive and focus that I had not felt before. I spent the summer working on weaknesses and seeing some really great improvements. A set back like an injury is exactly that, a set back. It does not have to define what you will be capable of in the future. I’ve been “present minded”. “I can’t do this yet”, “I’m not as good at this as I used to be”, blah, blah, wah, wah.

When I really think about it, the things I’ve been able to do since being “off” for two months are a fairly good indicator of where I am capable of being in the next three months. I hit my PR on my snatch within a week of snatching again. It felt amazing. One of many good signs.

Competing on this level is not for the faint of heart. It is not easy. You can’t just be good, you have to want it. I want it. I have wanted it since the that day I stepped into CrossFit Jenks in 2008. I have wanted it since I competed in my first competition at the Hell’s Half Acre Qualifier in 2009. I have wanted it since I missed qualifying for the games because my hspu’s  were slow in 2010. I have wanted it since I bombed my thruster in 2011. I have wanted it since I gave everything I had and came up a little short in 2012. I can’t be scared of what will happen if I give everything I have and fall short. I should be scared of what will happen if I go through this process half-hearted and regret it four months from now.

I love this so, so, so, so much. I would add one more so, but I think that would be too much. The sacrifice that has been made by those who have been to The Games and wish to go to The Games is tremendous. We train roughly 15 hours a week. That type of time commitment outside of work and family cannot be made for something that you just do. That type of commitment is made for things you love, obsess about and cannot live without.  This time of year our weekends are dedicated to training and other things have to take a back seat. Whether I end up 2nd or 20th, my worth is not in the finish.

A friend of mine recently said….

No, a person is not defined by their shortcomings or even their achievements. They are defined by their pursuit, by what drives them, what tiny, innumerable decisions they make and, most importantly, by HOW they are in the midst of success, failure, tragedy, triumph and striving to be something more than just ordinary.

Thanks Joey.

I take pride in being more than just ordinary. It is a part of who I am. It is a part of what I try to pull out of people as a coach and friend. It is why I do what I love. Being less than I am capable of is just not who I am.

Training is hard. It is physically demanding. It is mentally exhausting. It is also exhilarating and rewarding.

Thank you to each person who has been involved with my successes over the last five years and who will be over the upcoming months. Let’s be honest, without all of you I would be a complete disaster and no jar of Nutella would be safe.

I leave you with a very armature video of the first WOD from our sectional in 2010. It makes me laugh. This was before The Open existed. A much simpler time.  Kody still yells the exact same way, however, I don’t have my own chalk bucket anymore. My friends Candice Ruiz, Paige Millspaugh and Amy Quimby all make cameo appearances.