I’m officially 38 weeks and one day….not that I am counting. Without going into a lot of details that people don’t really want to know, she should be here any day. Literally, like right now….let’s do this.
I’ve had the best pregnancy. It’s strange to say that out loud because in all honesty I don’t enjoy being pregnant. I love what I’m going to have from being pregnant, but I am not that girl that has relished in every second of pregnancy. It has been weird, frustrating, uncomfortable and at times has made me incredibly vain. I don’t like that.
So much has changed around me in the last nine months. To me, my family, my friends, my jobs...my life. I guess nine months is a long time in general, so for any person a lot of things will change. It’s just been very eye opening to take a step back from everything, reevaluate life and try to make sense of everything that has happened and will happen.
In less than two weeks I’m going to have a precious little girl. I can’t wait to see her smile at me. I can’t wait to hear her laugh. That is one of the things I’m most excited about…her giggle. I’m so excited to know someone that is a part of me. We will share the same DNA. It’s kinda crazy that she is the first person I will ever really know in that way.
At the beginning of my pregnancy I made a few very bold statements. One was, “I will NOT take maternity pictures”. Enter Monica, my lovely friend who is pretty handy with a camera. I remember walking up to her a little over a month ago and saying, “Ok, will you take some maternity pictures of me?” She laughed and knew I was eating my words. She was amazing. I honestly never thought I would love the way I looked so much. I’m so glad I did it. Even though I struggled to watch my body change, she really captured my joy about having my daughter.
I don’t talk about that enough, just how absolutely excited I am that I’m going to have her. I tend to try to act a little tougher than I am. It’s hard for me to be really vulnerable. I’ve had some very close people to me go through some very tough situations with children at different stages of pregnancy and life. I’ve also gone through a miscarriage myself. I think I down played all of it so much out of fear of something going wrong. I’m very much my father’s daughter when it comes to things like that.
I’m incredibly blessed to be so healthy. I’m so happy I was so active and felt so good for the majority of my pregnancy. The last two weeks have been slightly different. Now I’m uncomfortable all the time. I can’t sit up on my own, I have to get in weird positions to tie my shoes, my hips hurt all the time, I feel like my abs (or what is left of them) are being ripped apart 24/7 and I wake up pretty much every single hour. It’s pretty much a dream come true. If you ever want to feel super attractive…be 38 weeks pregnant in August.
I have still been working out. Not nearly as much as I was over the last few months, but I still make myself sweat. I have really good days and then I have days when I think if I take one more step I might collapse. I’m still in the water a few days a week, but even that feels different now. I still gawk at how small my legs are getting. Who gets mad about their legs getting smaller? Me. I do. Ugh. I cannot wait to squat again.
I’m getting excited as I think about my recovery. My garage gym is cleaned out and ready to go. I’m preparing some menu ideas so I can be eating as clean as possible (for me) once she gets here. I’m not naive to the fact that coming back is going to be hard and that having a newborn and being a first time parent is going to change things a lot. I’m excited and ready for the challenge. I know I will have to take it one day at a time. I’m incredibly lucky to have so many supportive and wonderful people around me. I say that a lot, but I mean it every single time.
There will be many tears, as there already have been. I have a lot to look forward to in the coming weeks. Holding our daughter for the first time, bringing her home, introducing her to her fur sisters, watching our friends and family love her….oh yeah, and competing at HOA in October.
Hopefully this is my last post before baby girl. Let’s be honest, I’ve been an awful blogger. This is my last post before she gets here. Closing thoughts from a pregnant me….
Enjoy what you are given. Don’t take fore-granted the time you have during certain stages of your life…you may not get them back. Be thankful for those that love you and support you. Enjoy the little things and don’t feel bad about indulging every now and then. Continue to do the things you love even if you can’t do them the way you always want to. Be happy. Smile. Laugh. Dream. Wear a two piece when you feel like a whale. Smell empty beer bottles just to make people laugh at you. Listen to those around you who have gone through the same thing, but also be mindful that your experience is always unique. Don’t be afraid to cry in front of complete strangers. Dance and sing whenever the spirit moves you. Sleep in a mountain of pillows. Take long, hot showers. Enjoy long drives alone. Listen to a lot of M83. Go to concerts even if you are the most pregnant one there. Eat all the chocolate sugar cookies from Someplace Else on Western. And last, know it’s OK to not always be happy. There is nothing wrong with how you feel about your experience. Just live and make the most of what you’ve got. Peace.